So, here comes Valentine’s Day again and I don’t think I will be having a date. Thank God, it falls on a Sunday here in the Philippines. Too bad that while everyone is busy and excited signing up for reservations for a dinner date, I am here dealing with a personal dilemma on how to look like having a rendezvous on Valentine’s Day. Well, not really. It’s just that Valentine’s Day no longer affected me. I mean, I can carry on without it.
Alone doesn’t mean lonely
Please, don’t remind me about Valentine’s Day and don’t say it straight to my face that the celebration isn’t merely for those who are in a relationship. I know that, all right?! I’ve been researching and I have already done my homework about this subject. I just don’t think that my foolhardy friends would understand that. I am sure if they would know that I don’t have a date on Valentine’s Day, they will try to put me on a “firing squad” together with few others.
Why am I not dating? Simply because this is no longer 1950s when flowers were free and dating was a good deal. This is already 2016 and everything is expensive. If you would like to date her, you need to spend much for flowers, chocolates and stuffed toys. More than that, you will have to splurge for a special dinner and the recreation that would follow, because she is expecting you to take her somewhere she can enjoy and have fun. Damn the ways of the conformists and the gentlemen, but you also need to take care of the ride home. If you wouldn’t drive, you need the cab—and that you should cover the costs from her place to yours.
So now, try computing the possible expenses of dating. Yes, very expensive, especially when you are earning hand to mouth. Don’t tell me I am penny-pinching, because I am just citing realities. Who’s saying not all girls would want that? F**k you! Most girls, if not all, have Cinderella Complex and they wanted to be treated special, most especially on Valentine’s Day, to show to their friends that they are not spending the occasion alone. So, if you would want to date, work harder and don’t take that f**king money from your parent’s purse. Don’t be an asshole because girls deserve that, by the way.
Let me tell you this. I haven’t been dating for several years now. It’s not that I couldn’t afford financially, I just know that I have a convoluted life and I still need to pull it up before letting someone else into it and let her become involved in my complex existence. Moving on is just too difficult for me and I don’t care getting old waiting for the wounds to heal. Well, I’m not alone though. I know of several men who prefer to date their own selves than pester someone else’s life and ends at nothing but failed expectations.
Why are there men who would choose to be alone and not dating? There could be many reasons but the following are few common justifications that I know of and don’t criticize me for these, because I am entitled to my own conviction.
Empty Wallet Can’t Win a Perfect Date
As I mentioned earlier, dating is not a free enterprise. A gentleman can’t just ask a girl out on a date and make an arrangement that they’ll have to split the ensuing expenses. That’s a direct insult to the lady. He will ruin her day and much more than that, she will eventually doubt her dignity and spend a moment of wretchedness. If not, she would strike his face and curse his pathetic and dim-witted existence. In the absence of financial means, some men prefer to not dare indulge in the romantic atmosphere of the season by not dating.
Too Picky To Be Free
There is no rule stating that rich, handsome and gorgeous men cannot date average, unremarkable women. As long as both parties have established mutual agreement and emotional understanding, then there would be no problem. However, there are just men who have lofty standards on choosing a woman to date and since they could not find one of their liking, they do not trouble themselves even if they had to spend Valentine’s Day alone in a cold corner.
Extremely Introverted Men Never Ask
Asking a girl out on a date entails enough courage from boys, especially for beginners. While there are men who are too glitzy to win a woman’s approval to date him, there are also men who are too good but too reticent to ask a girl out on a date. No matter how they like to date the girls of their dreams, they lose to their most powerful flaw—being too dumb to say the lines and too scared to be rejected. In that case, they ended up spending a blue Valentine’s Day.
Closeted Men Veto Women
When you look at most of them, you can’t see a trace of contrasting features from the average men, whether in speech or deportment. Typically, they would talk about sports, events and travels, but the most interesting topic of their discreet discussion is definitely not about women—but men that could fulfill their fantasies. They go to the fitness gym, they enjoy partying and of course, they love to travel. They are usually in the company of friends who have the same preference as they do, but they definitely not find dating with women interesting and worth a bit of their time.
A Personal Choice Can’t Be A Lady’s Choice
He is handsome, successful and an eye candy for most girls. Every girl would like to date him. Some would even fantasize marrying and making love with him, but he had never asked a girl out on a date, not even on Valentine’s Day. Why? Just for one reason—it’s a personal choice. He doesn’t want to waste time planning about the date. He is not fond of commitments and he avoids messing up his schedules. Probably, he loves to stay at home, read books, play video games or watch TV. He thinks he has more significant things to do than dating a girl.
Valentine’s Day is truly a special celebration and there are hundreds of ways to do it. Love is not merely about dating and having fun, it is also about extending one’s self to others. The rich often use this occasion to realize charitable pretense. The powerful makes it a day for humanitarian functions. The famous finds it timely to further publicize himself. For the kindhearted, however, it is no different from all the days of the year normally feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, washing the soiled, curing the ailing, and giving hope to those who feel losing life’s battle.
For me, Valentine’s Day is a typical day to live with. No dating and no humanitarian quests. Just a time to bond with family and friends who can share the warmth of love and help remind everyone about the meaning of love and the essence of the celebration.
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